New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
