he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
