Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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