Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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