The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize