i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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