You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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