So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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