Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
