People in love make me want to vomit
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
