turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
