the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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