My liver just broke up with me...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
