4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
