i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
