i was born a porn star she said
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
