So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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