Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize