so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
