Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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