I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
