these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
