Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
