Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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