The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
