how can u be prego again
Please, let me fuck your mom
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
