We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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