im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
