You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
