After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
