Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
