Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
