I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
