New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's never too late to be topless.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
