You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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