omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
