Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
FUCK WHALES
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