Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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