So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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