The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize