i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
