Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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