guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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