Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.