Can Purell be used as lube?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley