i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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