How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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