I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm at about main and main street
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
