No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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