Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
