Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All the doctor said was why
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
