Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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