i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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