we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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