So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want a musical about memes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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