Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My ass is underappreciated
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
