he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize