: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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