just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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