he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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