Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize