Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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